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| "Permission to terrorize Ohio State University? Over. *PSHH*" |
You know those pump-up videos hockey team shows on the jumbo-tron in anticipation for the player entrance? Well imagine pitching this idea to the Alaska Nanooks marketing team...
As a large boat attempts to maneuver through the cracking ice in the arctic, it appears to awaken a frozen, giant, polar bear submerged in the ice below. Angry (or constipated) with electric rage shown in his eyes, the bear was ready to seek revenge on whomever disrupted its hibernation. In a fist of fury, the bear begins to generate electricity from his palms and magically creates a giant hockey stick in which the bear gives it's best Paul Bunyon impression and completely destroys the boat, chopping it in half with the aforementioned stick, creating a large, fiery, Michael Bay-like explosion...
Cut-scene to the bear flying in a jet plane, along with two of his bear friends in jet planes of their own. As they continue soaring through the skies, they decide to drop missiles on college rival campus' like they don't give a damn. Meanwhile, as each school burns down in a fiery blaze, the polar bear decides to deploy a few more missiles into active, erupting volcanoes subsequently, blowing up the entire world. As the world continues to explode in the background, the bear continues to fly into space...
The polar bear then decides to break the space-time barrier by flying through a black hole for whatever reason. As the bear goes further into the black hole, the jet plane dissipates into thin air from the extreme velocity it's traveling. The bear then Superman's through the roof of an arena on a small planet and dangles a puck on ice with his electric-energized hockey stick and takes a slap shot which causes the net to be engulfed in flames.
For the TL;DR crowd, just watch this...
To quote the highest rated comment...
"What the fuck did I just watch?"
